


Long Dick Johnson

by Holy_Leonards



Category: Fallout 4, Fallout New Vegas
Genre: Crack, Long Dick, M/M, Mojave Wasteland, Monster Dong, Pardners
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-12 23:34:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5685898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holy_Leonards/pseuds/Holy_Leonards
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Stranger from the mysterious west travels to the Commonwealth in order to find a legend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Long Dick Johnson

He was a legend out west. The people of the Mojave Wasteland would share stories of him over a few drinks. Nobody knew his real name, just “Long Dick Johnson”. One of two parts was right. Back East he was known as the beat up toaster detective, Nick Valentine. One day, someone from out west decided to travel East in search of the fabled man and see if he lived up to his name. 

Nick was eating noodles at the noodle place in Diamond City when a stranger in full cowboy get-up approached him.

“Hey pardner, is you that guy with the dick?”

“I am a detective, if that's what you mean.”

“No, no, I mean-” He looked both ways and then whispered, “Long Dick Johnson.”

Nick's eyes brightened in amazement. He hadn't heard that name in a hundred years.

“I haven't heard that name in a hundred years.”

“Folks back west have many stories about you, pardner. I hear yous got a dick longer and thicker than a deathclaw horn.”

“You're right about that, friend.”

“I also hears you a-sekshul.”

“Now, listen here, 'pardner', I will have you know that I /can/ and /do/ have sex!”

The Diamond city guards were watching them now. They would have to take their conversation indoors.

“You want to head back to my office and see my services for yourself?”

“Why sure, pardner, that sounds mighty fine.”

Nick got up and led the way as the stranger followed. He walked bowlegged and his spurs jingle jangle jingled with every step.

When they got inside, Nick grabbed the stranger's arm and looked into his eyes.

“I have a thing for cowboys and strangers!”

“Well, I got a thing for long dicks, so let's see it!”

Nick hit a button on the wall and the dick descended from the ceiling. It was locked into place on a platform. It was twenty feet long and 4 inches thick.

“Behold!”

“Sweet bighorner hearding jesus!”

Nick walked up to the back of the dick and locked it into place on his crotch. 

“Dwarfs that big iron on your hip, eh cowboy?”

“In! Now, pardner!”

“I was hoping you'd say that.”

The stranger bent over the desk and dropped his well worn jeans. Nick backed up twenty feet behind him and carefully guided the monster dong into the tight hole in between the dusted cheeks of the stranger. It spread the hole to unimaginable lengths and the cowboy was losing it. Cum was spraying all over the floor like a faucet and he couldn't stop it. Nick barely got to walking back and forth before he had to pull out. The thickness was too much for this cowboy.

“How did that feel?”

“Like a kick in the head, pardner! YEEEEEEEHAW! You do live up to the legend!”

“There isn't nothing fake about old Nick Valentine. Now, you take this back West with you. Long Dick Johnson /does/ have a long dick and he /can/ and /does/ have sex, ya hear?”

“Yes, pardner, yes, I hear ya loud and clear!”

“That's loud and QUEER to you! Now get!”

The cowboy quickly pulled up his pants and booked it out of the office, giggling all the way. Man, was that the best sex he ever had! He couldn't wait to tell all his pardners back home.


End file.
